


Amor Verus Numquam Moritur

by Helene08



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Episode: s02e18 Awake Arise Or Be Forever Fallen, Protective Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-08 20:10:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11653857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Helene08/pseuds/Helene08
Summary: “So, you are still dreaming about your fantasy guy?”Magnus snorted, he should never have talked about him to his friends in the first place, they were always teasing him now, calling the guy of his dreams ‘The Fantasy Guy’ since he never seemed to remember his name.“He’s not a fantasy,” Magnus rolled his eyes. “It feels like I should know him. Like we’re somehow connected, you know?”Raphael looked unimpressed as he took the dirty plates and cups and put them in the kitchen behind the counter. He came back to stand in front of the counter facing his friend.“Remind me how your fantasy guy looks like again?”Magnus sighed annoyed. “I already told you! Dark Haired. Tall man. Hazel eyes and his body is covered in black tattoos, which is weird, because in every dream I’ve had the guy also always wears black or very somber clothes, isn’t he aware that other colors actually exist?”





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> First, I want to tell and HUGE thank you to my amazing, awesome beta KaterinaRedbird without whom this fiction wouldn't have been posted at all. 
> 
> I couldn't have posted this story without her, all her amazing advice's and without her patience to beta this first chapter. It was an amazing ride and I can't wait to send to her the next chapters of this short-story. 
> 
> I can't thank her enough, she's one of a kind! 
> 
> Like Always I suggest to listen to the song while you are reading this. 
> 
> I almost forgot! Shadowhunters and anything recognizable doesn't belongs to me but to Cassandra Clare and all their owners.

****

* * *

 

****

_Magnus was in a bar in front of the pool table playing billiards. Magnus could hear the balls collide on the red billiard table._

_“You see that?” said the other man clearly proud of his moves as he was holding the pool cue, “It’s like archery.”_

_Looking at the Asian man he added, “It’s all about the aim, Magnus.”_

_“Who knew that there were so many similarities?”_

_A small awkward but comfortable silence ensued before the taller man made his next move and hit the white ball with his pool cue._

_He missed it._

_“Can’t win them all,” commented the dark-haired man with a sigh._

_Clearly, he hated to lose._

_He walked towards the bar counter and had his back to Magnus taking a sip of his beer. At the same moment, the sounds of the balls drew the younger man’s attention back to the game and he saw that Magnus didn’t miss at all._

_In fact, he hit three balls at the same time._

_“Wait, did you do your…thing?” asked the dark-haired man completely focused on the game now as he weirdly gestured to the pool table._

_“Haven’t heard of the saying?” responded Magnus smugly, “If you can’t find the one being hustled at the pool hall...”_

_Looking at the dark-haired man he added in a teasing tone, “-then it’s probably you.”_

_He hit another ball and didn’t missonce again._

_He looked at the taller man and said with a smirk, “Okay?”_

_“Okay. Yeah,” nodded the other man adding in the same challenging tone, “Let’s play.”_

* * *

 

 

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

The sound of an alarm woke Magnus up and he almost fell out of his bed. He checked the time, 6:00 AM and groaned annoyed.

Why did he want to become a doctor again? He couldn’t remember.

He turned off the clock on his bedside table and sighed, finally opening his eyes, looking at the ceiling of his bedroom of his flat in Seattle.

His weird dreams were back again.

Magnus had a few of these dreams picturing a man he didn’t know a single thing about, and every time it always was a different one.

It felt like memories, but he didn’t know this guy at all.

Or did he?

This guy was _handsome_ to say the least and Magnus was known for playing for both teams. He dated a lot, boys as well as girls, but he didn’t remember ever dating someone like him before.

Could one lose one’s mind due to sleeping deprivation?

_As a matter of fact, yes._

Still, he didn’t know who the hell this dark haired, _very handsome_ guy could be. He was always dreaming about him but no matter how much he already dreamed about him, he still couldn’t catch his name.

Like something was stopping him from knowing it.

He hadn’t dated anyone since Camille broke his heart two years ago, he should have known better, nobody ever stayed with him.

His friends warned him about her, but he was already in too deep to listen to them.

Camille was there for him in a very dark time when he needed someone, and he couldn’t help but fall for her when she saved his life.

Even if he hated her with all his guts now, a small part of him would always love her because of that.

The sound of his phone cut through his train of thoughts.

**_‘Your coffee is ready and waiting for you, Idiot! -Raphael’_ **

* * *

 

Magnus sighed in contentment when he took a sip of his coffee. He didn’t know how Raphael made his drinks always taste so good.

Like a little taste of heaven in a cup and since Magnus was always drinking a lot, it was saying something.

“You know, one day you’re going to kill me. _Literally_. I probably drank more coffee in these last few years with you than I probably should have in all my lifetime.”

Raphael rolled his eyes. “You’re such a drama queen.”  He was preparing a chai latte for a blonde woman sitting at the last table of the crowded Taki’s coffee shop as he added, “Besides all the doctors in this world are probably running on caffeine, so you know it isn’t as much as you already drink every day.”

 “You are making a point,” chuckled Magnus softly, “Come on. I was just complimenting you to make you smile. Can you do that? Or is being grumpy all day a common trait that gets you hired here?”

Raphael ignored him as he gave the blonde woman her order. He walked around the diner cleaning a few tables while the customers were leaving.

“So, you are still dreaming about your fantasy guy?”

Magnus snorted, he should never have talked about him to his friends in the first place, they were always teasing him now, calling the guy of his dreams _‘The Fantasy Guy_ ’ since he never seemed to remember his name.

“He’s not a fantasy,” Magnus rolled his eyes. “It feels like I should know him. Like we’re somehow connected, you know?”

Raphael looked unimpressed as he took the dirty plates and cups and put them in the kitchen behind the counter. He came back to stand in front of the counter facing his friend.

“Remind me how your fantasy guy looks like again?”

Magnus sighed annoyed. “I already told you! Dark Haired. Tall man. Hazel eyes and his body is covered in black tattoos, which is weird, because in every dream I’ve had the guy also always wears black or very somber clothes, isn’t he aware that other colors actually exist?”

Raphael smiled for the first time since he was talking to Magnus, serving him another cup of coffee he responded, “Well at least you know that your fantasy guy has brown hair, so _you know_ , it already eliminates like _fifty_ percent of all the guys of the world.”

“You are not helping right now!”

“Who says that I’m trying to help? I was just making fun of you. Hearing you talk about your dreams is the highlight of my day!”

Magnus glared at him but at the same time his pager rang. He got up, glad for the interruption, he put a few bills on the counter and said, “Duty calls. See you later _Ralph._ ”

With these last words, he was gone as Raphael shook his head and started to prepare the next costumer’s order.

* * *

 

 

It took five minutes for Magnus to reach the hospital since the diner was only a few meters away from the Virginia Mason Medical Center where he was working.

Time to focus. It was a beautiful day to save lives.

Magnus first patient was a young kid, a thirteen-year-old little boy who broke his arm falling from a tree in his garden. He put a cast on his right arm and smiled as the little boy literally squealed when he saw that cast was in his favorite color, _blue_.

Magnus laughed so much that he baptized him little blueberry; neither need to says that the little boy parents did chuckle at this odd nickname.

 “Excuse me Dr. Bane but do you always find odd nicknames for every of your patients?”

With a wink the other man responded “No little _blueberry_ it is only reserved to my favorites patients.”

The little dark- haired boy chuckled and Magnus rubbing his hair added “By the way no more climbing into trees okay? I don’t want to plaster your other arm.”

The mother a brunette woman in her late thirties smiled and nodded, saying, “You heard that little one. No more climbing okay? I’m way too young to die from a heart attack.”

Her son only rolled his eyes showing his annoyance.

The older woman looked at her son and said sternly “Your father and I decided to not punish you for climbing into that tree when we’ve always forbidden you to do that in the first place, but we can still change our mind Mike Wheeler! You don’t need to climb into trees to play your _Star-Wars_ game!”

Mike groaned annoyed, “Oh my god mom! I keep telling you, it is Quidditch from _Harry Potter_ not _Star-Wars_! Mom, I played this game with Dustin, Will and Lucas for ten whole hours today, try to keep up!”

His mom only raised an eyebrow and Mike looking at the ground finally said in a whisper, “I’m sorry Mom, it won’t happen again.”

Magnus couldn’t help but let out a chuckle while the mother fondly shook her head trying hard to keep the smile off her face.

_Teenagers._

After that the flow in the hospital was very slow, every patient that Magnus treated came with only a few injuries, nothing major and nothing very serious anyways. It seemed like it was going to be a peaceful day but nothing always stayed peaceful in hospitals, or at least not for long.

He should have known better.

A gravely injured patient came through the emergency doors at 3pm, John Monterverde was _his_ name. He came from a violent car crash. A truck drove right into the driver’s door, the other driver ran a red light as he was crossing an intersection.

They quickly did a CT scan and saw that there was bleeding in his brain and they immediately took him to an operation room to try to remove the blood.

After that Ragnor Fell a very tall and strong man, the chef of neuro took Magnus to the OR1 with him to work on the patient, since he was his all-time favorite intern of the hospital.

Even if Ragnor would never admit it out loud, it would only boost Magnus already big ego.

They tried everything to save the man’s life.

Without success.

Ragnor and he walked in the hospital hallways towards a short, blonde, very beautiful woman. She was pacing up and down on the waiting room of the hospital clearly nervous and afraid.

Both doctors shared a look and took a deep breath knowing that the news of her deceased husband would change her life for the worst.

Magnus’ heart broke as he and Ragnor Fell were telling the blonde woman that her husband didn’t make it through the surgery, she burst into tears.

“We are so sorry for your loss,” repeated Ragnor.

The 23-year-old blonde woman shook her head still in tears, her voice breaking, “He can’t be, he can’t be dead, please tell me he isn’t!”

“I’m so sorry Mrs Branwell,” repeated Ragnor in a soft but detached tone, “-we tried to halt the internal bleeding, but it was too strong. His heart stopped, we managed to bring him back twice before we realized that he was brain dead. Unfortunately, his brain was too long without oxygen and he died, I am really sorry.”

Lydia shook her head and repeated that he was the love of her life, her first love. That they met in high-school, that she was always feeling like she hit the jackpot because only a few people succeeded at finding _the one_ at the first try.

Magnus felt very sorry for her, she seemed to be a very great and loyal woman. She was tall and her long blonde hair really suited her.

Magnus who was still staring at Lydia couldn’t shake the weird feeling in his stomach that he already saw her before, and before he could think more of it he suddenly zoned out again.

* * *

 

_He was standing in a balcony at night in a flat he didn’t recognize but it felt very familiar._

_He seemed sad and lost_ in _his thoughts before he heard a deep ma_ n’s _voice coming from behind him._

_“Magnus, you were right.”_

_There again he saw the same dark haired man who haunted his dreams._

_This time though he was wearing a blue jeans shirt and a black jacket and pants._

_“You don’t have to prove yourself to me,” Magnus heard the man say and then he softly added, “I love you”_

_There was a pause as the two men were staring at each other, it seemed like Magnus wasn’t used to hearing these three words coming from him._

_Magnus then softly put his hand on the other man’s cheek and said, “I love you too.”_

_While they were kissing, Magnus realized that he would never be tired of hearing these three words from the younger man’s mouth._

_He probably would never be tired of saying it back to him._

* * *

 

Magnus was brought back from his reverie when he heard Lydia yelling loudly that she wanted to see her husband.

Her face was blank and devoid of any emotions.

“Of course, let me take you to him,” said the other man softly and Lydia nodded once and started to walk away.

Shaking his head, he started to follow her but Ragnor raised his hand to stop him. “Go home,” he instructed, squeezing his left shoulder in a comforting gesture.

“What?” Magnus eyes widened. “No, let me come- “

Ragnor shook his head sensing his friend’s distraught state.

“Bane, you’ve been here since what? 7:00 am? You seem exhausted go home, I will take care of it. _Just go_.”

Before he could protest Ragnor walked away joining the widow into the mortuary of the hospital.  

* * *

 

Twenty minutes passed before Magnus decided to finally listen to Ragnor’s advice, he wasn’t only his attending and mentor, he was also his friend.

Well him and Catarina Loss who was working as a nurse in the same hospital. They were more like his _family_ , he would die for them.

He was still shaken up by the broken expression that Lydia had when they told her the passing of John.

Magnus knew that as a doctor, he needed to turn off his emotions and especially not get too involved with any of his patients because emotions cloud our judgment.

In his eight years of residency, he unfortunately learned that we couldn’t save everyone even if we wanted to.

Though it didn’t stop his heart from breaking every time he lost a patient.

With a last sigh, he looked at the crowded hospital hallway, full of nurses and others doctors who were running around.

He just made a few steps before his look was caught by the elevator’s closed doors. There was a brown-haired man waiting in front of it.

A beat.

The time seemed to stop as he totally froze in place because he was just lookingat the guy from his dreams. Dark hair. Tall guy. Wearing all black and covered with the same black tattoos all over his body.

Though, as he finally snapped out of his frozen state he heard a female voice calling his name.

His attention drifted away from the elevator’s doors as he saw a small blonde nurse, very short woman, in blue scrubs running towards him.

She was in her mid-twenties probably one or two years younger than him. Catarina was one of the kindest and strongest people he had known in his entire life.

She had a pure soul and Magnus was grateful to have her not only as a coworker but also as one of his best-friends as well.

Catarina finally reached him and was suddenly holding a black tablet right in front of his face blocking his view of the elevator’s doors, “Mags! Hey, good thing you are still here. Ragnor told me that you were gone. Look I need to talk to you about a patient.”

He tried to look behind her whispering “No problem Cat’ but just let-” but as the doctors and nurses moved away the dark-haired man was suddenly gone.

A few minutes passed as Catarina looked at her friend who was still looking at a spot behind her. She then turned her head and just saw the usual nurses and doctors who were working in this hospital area.

Turning back to Magnus she asked worried now. “Huh. What is going on?”

Magnus shook his head “Nothing,” focusing again on Catarina, looking at the iPad she was pointing towards him, he said, “Go ahead dear tell me what you got!”

The older man totally forgot about the apparition of the man and his feelings towards it as Catarina and he walked away and talked about her patient.

He was probably hallucinating due to the lack of sleep anyways.

_It probably meant nothing._


	2. The Other Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English isn't my first language so I will start by saying a huge thank you to my amazing beta KaterinaRedbird who betaed this chapter more quickly than I’ve anticipated, seriously she’s the best! 
> 
> Anyways, how amazing the season finale was? I really loved it! Also, I didn’t count the number of times I hit the pause button while I was watching the episode because I was so afraid to watch it, I didn't read the books and only watch the Tv-Show but I knew most of the books plot. 
> 
> Jace is alive yeah! Though I’m wondering what happened to him in the afterlife he seemed different when he’d came back into the living and I watched enough TV-Shows (Supernatural and Buffy to not mention them) to know that when we bring back someone from the dead there is always some consequences. 
> 
> The Malec scene in the end was amazing these two have my heart! (The way Alec looked and smiled when he saw Magnus drinking at the Hunter’s Moon and the ‘I don’t think that I can live without you?’ Oh Bless!)
> 
> Thanks to all of you for leaving kudos on the first chapter it really made me happy! 
> 
> Finally, I can’t thank enough: Renagirl21, Unbreakable_Vow, AkashiKanra and thorun93 for bookmarking this work seeing this totally made my day!

 

* * *

 

_Lydia was wearing a beautiful golden robe. She took a Steele holding the dark-haired man’s wrist, before she could do anything though they suddenly heard the door opening with a loud sound and soon Magnus appeared a few meters from the altar wearing a black suit with strands of purple in his dark hair._

_The room was full of people Magnus didn’t know and never met but his attention was entirely focused on the taller man who was wearing a white and golden suit._

_Time seemed to stop as both men were looking at each other but then a dark-haired tall woman came towards him saying in a threatening tone._

_“Magnus leave this wedding now!”_

_Magnus raised his hand to stop her, saying in a tone that was leaving no place for arguments._

_“Maryse, this is between me and your son. I will leave only if he asks me to.”_

_Maryse turned her head as everyone was waiting for the next move, Magnus could see a blond man standing next to the dark-haired one and then a very similar looking dark-haired girl standing next to Lydia wearing a beautiful dress._

_He saw Lydia saying something to the taller man while he replied something back to her that Magnus couldn’t decipher._

_Then Magnus heard his deep voice._

_“I’m sorry Lydia I thought that it was the right thing to do but it isn’t. I can’t do it.”_

_Lydia cut him off, “Hey, it’s okay, you deserve to be happy.” She added as she softly smiled at him, putting her hand on his neck, “I will be fine.”_

_The dark-haired man apologized once again and then turned to look at Magnus._

_A few seconds passed, then he made a few steps and was soon walking in the opposite direction of the altar, towards Magnus who remained on his spot, Maryse was walking towards the taller man saying._

_“What are you doing?”_

_He signaled her to shut up._

_“Enough!”_

_Then he finally reached Magnus, took him by the shirt and kissed him._

_After a few minutes the dark-haired man pulled away too soon for Magnus’ liking but not even a second later he drew him back in and kissed him once again._

_Magnus smiled after the dark-haired man pulled away for the second time and said with a smirk “You never cease to amaze me A- “_

_‘BANG’_

* * *

 

Magnus jerked awake and took a few minutes to recognize his surroundings, he sat in the hospital in the nurse station. He probably dozed off when he was filling in his patient charts which was a part of his job, an annoying onebut it needed to be done.

Magnus then looked in front of him to see Catarina in her blue scrubs and her long blonde hair up in a ponytail this time, he saw that she had rather loudly thrown a few patients’ chart on the desk in front of him, which was probably where the noise came from.

After taking a few minutes to calm his racing heart Magnus almost shouted, “Are you crazy? You almost gave me a heart attack!”

“I tried to call you but you didn’t hear my calls so I went for the hard way.” smirked the short-woman.

A few doctors and nurses who were working in this area of the hospital were giving them _strange_ _looks_ but she dismissed them loudly.

“Ok show-time is over, there is nothing to see here. Avanti! Avanti! Go save lives!”

After a few seconds, all the doctors and nurses went back to work like nothing happened.

Magnus rolled his eyes.

“So, Mags.” She paused and added mockingly “had any of these weird dreams lately?”

The older man groaned annoyed.

“You think I’m crazy?”

Catarina was about to respond when another voice to their right intervened, “Well it’s about time you realize it my friend!”

His mentor and oldest friend Ragnor Fell came in in all his glory smirking.

_Traitor. All traitors._

Catarina slapped Ragnor’s arm and said softly, knowing that it was a tense subject for him, “Hey we never thought that you were crazy, ok? We’re just worried, don’t you think that you’re giving this too much thought?”

She paused before adding “You didn’t even have these dreams five weeks ago,”

Magnus sighed again.

“Look guys it’s not like I can stop them you know? Even if I wish that I could.”

Looking at Ragnor he added, “Remember this blonde woman who lost her husband a week ago?”

The older man snorted _as if_ he could forget.

“I actually dreamed about her.”

Ragnor and Catarina shared a look and Ragnor asked, “Your fantasy guy was there?”

Their friend let out a cry of exhaustion.

“Yes!”

Catarina then raised an eyebrow for him to continue.

With some hesitation, Magnus did.

“I was in a huge church. It was during a wedding. Anyway, this Lydia girl was on the way to marry the guy I dreamed about. They stopped their movements hearing my entrance and all looks were on me. I was wearing a black suit with glittery buttons and had some strands of purple in my hair. I had some make up on too and was also wearing jewelry and a few rings.”

“Wait a second, you were wearing a black glittery suit, make-up and jewelry?” Catarina cut him off with an amused smile.

Magnus groaned as a confirmation and Catarina and Ragnor laughed.

It was so different from the usual Magnus they knew; who didn’t have any makeup on or any jewelry since their work didn’t allow it. Besides, when he wasn’t in his work clothes he was only wearing bright colorful clothes. The only piece of black he had in his closet was a leather jacket and his shoes.

“Man, I would give twenty thousand dollars to see you looking like this in the hospital!” Ragnor commented with an amused smirk.

“All right, guys, that’s not the point!” Magnus shouted exasperated.

“Right,” the short blonde nurse nodded, “Go ahead we’re listening!”

Magnus only rolled his eyes.

“You’re just gonna be dicks about it!”

“What?” Catarina replied in a high-pitched tone “No way!”

“We won’t say a word,” Ragnor added doing the scout sign with his hand. “Total respect!”

Magnus was doubtful knowing how his friends were but he continued to tell them nonetheless.

“Long story short after a few minutes despite the dark-haired woman’s protests, Maryse I think? He walked in the opposite direction of the altar and then he kissed me.”

After a few minutes of silence Catarina voiced her opinion.

“Ok but didn’t you tell me that you thought that you have seen this Lydia before?”

Magnus nodded confused, “Yes Darling, but I don’t see why it is relevant.”

“Well,” Catarina started as Ragnor stayed silent, “You felt that you knew this Lydia before and you dreamed about her, so don’t you think that your brain is trying to make sense of it even if there is none?”

“I think she’s right Mags maybe you want your dreams to make sense so much that it clouds your judgement. I meant last thing we knew about Lydia was that she was married to this John guy; a blond man and not your-”

At Magnus glare he paused and then said with a small smile "- _not to the guy of your dreams._ That’s the situation as  _we_  know it"

Magnus sighed thinking that they had a point, maybe his mind made up this dream so that all of this would make sense.

“Maybe, I don’t know.”

* * *

 

_Magnus found himself standing in a long hallway that he didn’t recognize, once again he was wearing black clothes and was holding a small dark-red rose._

_Then the dark-haired man came through a room closing the door behind him. Magnus, after seeing him, hid the black rose and turned on the other direction hoping that the man didn’t notice him as he was about to walk away, but the younger man walked towards him, calling his name._

_“Magnus!”_

_Magnus tried to give him a fake smile as he finally stood in front of him._

_“Thank you for staying here with us.”_

_Magnus smile was small as he responded, “I’m just glad that Max is okay”_

_The other man smiled and as Magnus turned his back to him as his cue to leave he heard him say in panic._

_“I’m sorry!”_

_Magnus tensed turning to face the other man as he added “I should have told you about the soul-sword” taking his hands in his he continued “but you and me, we always seem to find our way back to each other.”_

_Magnus stayed silent as the taller man said almost desperately, “Magnus, I love you.”_

_The older man smiled and put his hand on the younger man’s neck, the other man closed his eyes in the process like he was craving this intimate contact between them._

_When the other man opened his eyes, Magnus replied “I love you too,” he paused and then added, “but as a leader there are choices that I need to make to protect my people. The only thing keeping me from doing them, is you.”_

_“No,” the other man whispered slowly understanding where Magnus wanted to go._

_“I’m sorry, but I have no choice!”_

_“Yes, you do. Magnus please we will find a way to get through this! Please!”_

_Magnus hesitated seeing that the other man was on the verge of tears he realized that he was breaking the younger man’s heart._

_He just couldn’t do it._

_“Fine but don’t lie to me again!”_

_“I promise I won’t!”_

_“Okay,” Magnus said finally after a while._

_“Okay.” The other man retorted with a small nod._

_Feeling that it was maybe too soon for a kiss the dark-haired man pulled Magnus in a bone crushing hug. Magnus could feel that the younger man was smiling as he was closing his eyes to take his scent in even if he couldn’t see him._

_Magnus returned the embrace and the world seemed to make sense again._

* * *

 

 

Magnus groaned as he woke up in one of the on-call rooms of the hospital after a long surgery. He thought that he could get some sleep but apparently, he was wrong.

He was going crazy. He was also starting to hate this guy whoever he was. These dreams no matter how good they were, were starting to get on his nerves since they were making no sense to him.

If there was a thing that Magnus hated more than Camille, it was not understanding something and be in the dark.

He couldn’t think more about it because his pager rang interrupting his train of thoughts.

Time to go to work. With some reluctance, Magnus got up and left, closing the on-call room door behind him more loudly than he should have.

The patient in the exam room 9 was a tall black man. He came here to be checked after an investigation.

His wife Jocelyn forced his hand. His name was Luke Garroway.

Magnus smiled as he came back into the room greeting the nurse who left the room with a nod.

“Well, Mr. Garroway we did all the exams and checkups we could and I’m happy to say that you’re fine.”

Luke smiled saying, “Great now can you call my wife and tell her this?”

Magnus chuckled as he sat down on a chair facing the taller man who was half seated in the exam room’s bed.

“She was right to get you checked, it’s not every day that someone is taking a bullet to his body.”

The other man rolled his eyes “I know but I was wearing a bulletproof vest. She is stressing about nothing sometimes”

“Don’t be too hard on her. I would feel the same way if my husband was in the same situation, not that I have one but still. She just cares about you.” Magnus pointed out softly.

“I know.”

“Anyways you can go. You just need to sign the discharge papers and soon you will join your lovely wife and step-daughter at home. Oh, and an advice buy Jocelyn flowers on your way home.”

Luke smiled getting up and said, giving Magnus his work card, “Thanks doctor. Here, I give you my number, call me if you need anything.”

Magnus hesitated before he took the white card that Luke was handing him, in gold letters was _‘Detective Luke Garroway’_ inscribed and behind it was his number.

Once again Luke’s face and the names Jocelyn and Clary Fray that Luke mentioned earlier triggered something in Magnus but he was honestly too exhausted to care.

So, Magnus only nodded with a small smile.

His only family were his friends since his mother killed herself when he was younger andhis step-father tried to kill him a few days after his mother suicide, claiming that it was his fault. If their neighbor hadn’t come at the right time because she was out of eggs he would have been dead.

Magnus realized that’s why he wanted to become a doctor because he hated to be weak and powerless, which was exactly how he had felt when he discovered his mother’s body. All he could remember was her blood in his hands as he was trying to stop the bleeding, despite all his efforts he had been unable to save her.

He wanted to save lives, so that he never had go through someone dying again while he could have done something about it.

_Never again._

“Thank you,” Magnus finally retorted interrupting his dark thoughts “-but why you’re giving me this? Do you give your number to everyone?”

Luke only chuckled.

“No.” he then paused and with a smile added, “I just feel like one day you’re gonna need my skills and knowledge.”

With a shrug, he explained, “Call it a gut feeling”

With these last words he was gone, leaving Magnus alone in the exam room and as Magnus put the card in his white blouse pocket he was paged to see another patient.

He didn’t know that Luke was right and that he would need his expertise soon enough.

* * *

  

Magnus in his rush of leaving didn’t see a tall figure watching him in a corner of the hospital from afar, the man smiled and then walked away leaving the emergency section of the hospital.

He walked to a hidden corner behind the hospital, making sure that no one was around to see him. He raised his hands and made a gesture.

Almost instantly a blue and orange portal suddenly opened in front of him. He walked into it and soon it closed behind him.

The Seelie found himself standing in the Seelie court which was a big and large forest with vegetation and trees everywhere, white rose petals were also constantly falling from the sky.

The Seelie Queen, a short young girl with long red hair, smiled from her spot accompanied by her usual court. Then as he saluted her with a curtsey she ordered.

“Do your report Seelie.”

The man raised his head to look at the queen “Magnus Bane is still unaware of anything my Majesty. He only thinks he’s dreaming about this Shadowhunter, he hasn’t realized yet that it’s actually his memories from the real world.”

The Seelie Queen smiled as she seemed satisfied by the answer but then her minion added a commentary on his own.

“Now, _this is fascinating._ I’ve never seen this before he keeps holding onto this Shadowhunter even if he has no idea who he is.”

The Seelie-Queen didn’t react as he continued with a trace of an amused smile “The only thing stronger than his magic is his love for this _one boy_.”

The red-haired girl frowned and said sternly, “I don’t need your opinion Seelie just your report on the situation!”

The brown-haired fairy nodded and said “Forgive me my lady but I need to ask.” he paused and added, “What makes you thinks that it’s going to work? That it will make Magnus Bane join our side in the war?”

The Seelie-Queen smirked and explained smugly, “It’s really simple without an anchor, no matter how strong you are, you will be assimilated to the other alternate reality, if you stay long enough you will forget all the memories you had from the real world.”

“So, it’s like a brain wash?”

She nodded clearly proud of herself.

There was a small pause before he asked again “What about his magic then my majesty? This Magnus Bane is a mundane don’t you think that he will lose his magic in the process?”

Her answer came with a glare “Magnus Bane is the High Warlock of Brooklyn; his magic is strong, it will survive this. Let’s say that his magic is dormant for now.”

He nodded as she added with a pronounced accent, “Desperate times call for desperate measures.  If we play our cards right, Magnus Bane and his people will fight on our side against the Clave.”

The Seelie man slowly understood why she made him look at almost a hundred other alternate dimensions before she remained with this one.

It was hard to find but she needed a world where Magnus and Alec weren’t already together or didn’t already know each other, she needed an alternate dimension where Alec was already dead, before their first-meeting, so they wouldn’t meet and fall in love in the process.

No matter the dimension, Alec Lightwood and Magnus Bane always seemed to find their way back to each other. She was making sure that it wouldn’t happen this time.

The fairy gulped as the Seelie-Queen retorted with an amused smile, “Soon enough Alexander Lightwood will be nothing but a stranger to Magnus Bane.”


	3. Something Brings Me Back To You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally have Alec view of the situation on this chapter! Since it is the first time I wrote on his POV (I just wrote one one-shot on this fandom), I really hope that I didn’t screwed up any of the Characterizations too much ^^.

 

* * *

 

_Alec didn’t know how long they stayed in their embrace in the middle of the Institute’s infirmary’s hallway._

_After a while he pulled away as Magnus softly smiled at him._

_A moment of silence passed, before he asked softly, “Do you want me to come home with you?”_

_“No!” Magnus replied way too quickly._

_His answer made the younger man flinch, the last time Magnus had refused his presence so quickly was when Valentine had been in his body._

_At the time, he didn’t think more about it, thinking that due to the spell that Magnus had used to summon Azazel his boyfriend was simply too tired._

_It was still weird though but before he could ask if he was sure, Magnus had left and Izzy had called, he had been too relieved to see his sister’s name flash on his phone screen that any of his doubts just vanished._

_This time tough it was Magnus himself who declined his offer._

_It hurt._

_Alec mentally blamed himself, of course, just because the older man forgave him, didn’t mean that everything would go back to how it was, that everything would go back to normal._

_“Alec!” Magnus said loudly to catch the Nephilim’s attention._

_The other man shook his head and Magnus, taking Alec hands in his own, said “Sorry I didn’t mean it like that, it’s not what I was getting at- “_

_“So, what are you getting at?” the hunter cut him off more harshly and terse than he meant to._

_After a few seconds, Alec closed his eyes and said in a whisper “I’m sorry-I”_

_“Hey- “said Magnus caressing his cheek softly “Don’t apologize okay? It was a tense night for all of us.”_

_At Alec’s small nod he added, “It’s just that with what happened to Max, I just thought that you would want to stay at the Institute tonight.”_

_Before he could respond his boyfriend continued “So was I, well if you let me, of course.”_

_“What?” Alec asked in a whisper._

_“Alexander, you know that I’m not a fan of the Institute and I would largely prefer sleeping at home in my own room in my own very comfortable King-sized bed but I wanted to stay too, to be there in case the little Lightwood needs my magic. Even if I need to spend a very awful night in your very cold room for that.”_

_Alec’s heart burst out of love for the other man. He didn’t know how Magnus did it, making him fall in love with him all over again._

_Maybe he wasn’t the only one full of surprises after all._

_So instead of doing something stupid and blurt out an ‘Oh god just marry me already’ he said pretending to be offended._

_“Hey, my room is not that bad.”_

_Magnus chuckled and Alec couldn’t help his fond smile._

_“Yeah keep telling yourself that darling.”_

_Before he could process anything though, Magnus move toward his head and kissed him._

_All the younger man’s thoughts went out of the window and he brought the other man closer to him and returned the kiss eagerly._

_He wasn’t a fan of PDA especially in the Institute, there he wanted them to stay professional and keep these intimate things at Magnus’ place where he felt safe and at home._

_Where he had no shame of finally being himself without the fear of being judged._

_Although as Magnus was kissing him he frankly didn’t give a damn that they were still next to Max’s room where all his family was._

_Magnus pulled away too soon for his liking. Alec let out an annoyed moan and tried to kiss him again but Magnus just smirked and said in a teasing tone._

_“Wow. Well Mr. Lightwood, I don’t think that it is a proper way to act as the Head of the Institute. Let’s keep things strictly professional, shall we?”_

_Alec only rolled his eyes._

_“Look darling I just need to do some kind of mission and then I will come back to the Institute,” Magnus retorted softly._

_Alec nodded._

_“Well Mr. Bane do you need the Head of The Institute’s skills and knowledge? I think that he won’t see any problem with that.”_

_“I think I can handle myself.” Magnus retorted pretending to be offended at his turn._

_“I know,” Though Alec felt a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach, his instincts were screaming at him to ask what kind of mission Magnus was referring to._

_Before he could say anything more the shorter man gave him a short peck on the lips and said for the second time that night._

_“I love you.”_

_Too drunk on the happiness he felt about the fact that it was the first time that Magnus was saying these three words first, he just said the only thing that came to his mind right now._

_“I love you too. So much!”_

_“Well, I’m glad we established that.” Magnus retorted with a smirk giving him a last kiss on his cheek._

_“I will be back before you know it.”_

_Magnus then started to walk towards the elevators in front of them._

_Alec really should have listened to his damn gut and stopped him or at least go along with him but all he did at this moment was smiling as Magnus winked at him before the Elevator doors of the Institute closed._

* * *

 

_“There you are! “_

“Alec!”

Thanks to Jace’s quick shadowhunter’s reflexes he could dodge the arrow that was coming straight towards him easily.

It was the second time since he knew his brother that he was almost hurt by one of Alec’s arrows, the first time was when they first met when they were still kids.

Alec was taken out of his reverie when he saw Jace standing on the Institute’s roof a few meters from him, realizing what he had almost done he said in a low voice.

“Sorry didn’t see you there.”

“Yeah, I noticed that” the blond man responded with a smirk “I really thought that you would detect my presence even before I stepped a foot on the roof, you have better reflexes usually.”

The Nephilim then added smugly, “Not better than mine but still.”

Alec didn’t even crack a smile at Jace’s attempt of cheering him up.

“Move!” responded the dark-haired man more harshly than he intended to while he lowered his bow ready to shoot another arrow.

“No, man you’ve been here for hours,” his parabatai responded and then he added more softly “You shouldn’t beat yourself up.”

“I’m not.” the older man retorted with his bow still raised towards Jace.

Jace didn’t even flinch because he knew that Alec would never hurt him. This moment took him back to the time when he found Alec in the same situation a few months ago-after Jocelyn’s death.

Alec was hurt.

This time tough, it was a hundred times worse, Jace felt like he had lost the ability of breathing due to the hurt, hopelessness and sadness that he felt through their Parabatai bond.

He didn’t expect anything else either, Magnus had been missing for five days, he still didn’t know how Alec did not fall apart already.

Well it wasn’t exactly true as shadowhunters they had been taught since their childhood that emotions were a weakness, that it clouded their judgement.

So, one of them not dealing with their feelings wasn’t really a surprise.

Besides Alec was one of the strongest person he knew.

“Hey it’s me you’re talking to, we’re parabatai. You’re the other part of my soul. I feel what you feel, you don’t have to hide from me.”

Alec finally lowered his bow.

Looking away he retorted, “I’m fine.”

A deafening silence followed Alec’s sentence and before he knew it Alec let out a sob and tears started to fall.

Jace rarely (if ever) saw Alec cry not even when their little brother was on the verge of dying after Sebastian’s attack.

Alec always tried to stay strong, keep a cool façade even when he was in pain.

As the oldest of the Lightwoods, he always buried his own feelings to take care of his siblings and protect the ones he loved to make sure that they were happy even if it was at the expense of his own happiness.

He was always the one they were going to when they were upset.

Jace was never good at comforting people, even less at talking about feelings, so he did the only thing he could have done to comfort the dark-haired man.

He closed the distance between them and hugged him.

He didn’t know how long they stayed like this as Alec was breaking down in his arms clinging to him for dear life.

Then they heard the door opening in a loud bang, Alec had just enough time to compose and detach himself from the other man’s embrace before a female voice intervened.

“Oh sorry,” said Clary apologetically with a soft smile.

Jace decided to break the awkward silence saving the older man from his misery.

With a small smile, he retorted gently “It’s fine, Clary. What’s going on?”

The redhead looked away and Alec couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the gesture, what was happening again?

Clearing her throat, she started “Well, look I- “she paused and- “In fact, I’m not sure but- “

“Get to the point!” the dark-haired man snapped.

Clary thought better of being hurt by Alec’s outburst, their relationship wasn’t the best but with everything that had happened in the last past months they had both reached the level of a small understanding friendship.

With a small hesitant smile towards the two boys she said, “We might have a lead for where Magnus is.”

A beat.

Jace who stayed quiet during their small little exchange saw his brother’s eyes light up with a spark that was gone from him the past five days.

He felt the same crushing hope and the small spark of happiness coming from his brother.

Just like it had been for the twenty others ‘leads' that all of them thought would bring them to the warlock.

“Let’s go!” Alec simply said, he walked past Clary leaving the Institute’s roof.

Jace and Clary shared a small smile before they followed the other man.

* * *

 

_“No!” shouted Alec shaking his head “No absolutely not!”_

_Magnus smiled as he was walking with the taller man in Tokyo after their date, it was a pleasant and cold night but the taller man felt anything but cold in Magnus’ presence._

_Everything was perfect at this moment, it was just the two of them together without interruptions, without the pressure of being a Shadowhunter or the High Warlock of Brooklyn they usually had back in New-York._

_Here they could just act like they were a normal mundane couple. It felt good to let the pressure of their tittles go, to forget about the war that was coming and just enjoy the night._

_Well it was perfect until Magnus saw a small blue photo-booth cabin, the younger man saw his boyfriend face light up with a smirk as he suggested to him that they should immortalize this night by taking a couple of pictures._

_“Come on Alexander, please!” Magnus almost pleaded with a pout._

_As the High Warlock of Brooklyn Magnus never pleaded for anything because he had enough will power to wait (even if it took a long time) to get what he wanted._

_He loved a challenge after all and making Alec agree to this was another one he just knew he will won._

_“No don’t do that.” the taller man retorted firmly._

_“Do what darling?” the warlock asked in a nonchalant tone feigning innocence._

_“That- “Alec gestured with his arm to make his point “You’re calling me by my full name to get me to do what you want.”_

_“I have no idea at what you’re talking about, Alexander.”_

_“Right.” the Shadowhunter said rolling his eyes amused._

_“Come on it will be fun I promise!”_

_“I’m pretty sure we won’t even both fit in here.” Alec retorted raising an eyebrow while his boyfriend and he stood just in front of the small blue photo-booth cabin._

_“Don’t be ridiculous Alec- “Magnus stated with an amused eye roll “Even you aren’t that tall!”_

_Alec couldn’t think of any other argument to convince Magnus not to go in there and with a sigh seeing his boyfriend’s hopeful look he said reluctantly._

_“Fine.”_

_Magnus smiled kissing his cheek and dragged him into the cabin before he could protest again. They took a couple of pictures and Alec started to really get into the game._

_In the first picture they were both simply smiling at the camera. For the second one, Alec had his arm around the warlock’s shoulders and they were both looking in front of them with smiles on their faces. In the third one Magnus embraced the other man with his arms as he put his head-on Alec’s right shoulder as Alec smiled._

_“Well ok I admit this was great,” Alec said with a fond smile as he started to get up after the fourth picture was taken in which both men made silly faces._

_Magnus only softly pushed him back into the chair._

_“What are you doing?” the taller man asked confused “Isn’t it four pictures usually?”_

_“Yes, darling but I want us to take another set of pictures.” The high-warlock retorted as he put another piece into the machine and touched the small photo-booth’s screen._

_“Correct me if I’m wrong but I thought that the whole purpose of taking pictures in this kind of mundane machine is for both people to have the exact same pictures.“ making a gesture to point at the screen he added “So you can just print them in two copies, right?”_

_“Please Alexander I don’t want us to have the exact same set of pictures, I’m not that cheesy. I want each of us to keep a different set of pictures, for it to be more special, you know?”_

_The younger man took a few seconds to really understand what the older man really meant by that and as Magnus put his fingers under his chin taking the pose, he was totally missing Alec looking at him, Alec suddenly burst out laughing still staring at his boyfriend._

_The machine chose this exact moment to flash taking their first (well second-first) picture._

* * *

 

Alec came back into reality as he heard his sister’s voice calling his name. He caressed the pictures softly before he heard the distinct sound of his sister’s shoes behind him.

With quick reflexes, he put the pictures back into his jacket pocket and turned to face Izzy who softly smiled at him.

“Hey- “the younger woman said “Look Big Brother, Clary and Jace might have found something but- “

Before she could even finish Alec ran in the direction where he could hear the red-head and his parabatai, the brunette shouting from behind him in panic.

“Alec wait- “

They were only a few blocks away from the Institute, Clary and Jace had their backs turned to Alec while they picked up something under a dumpster. They didn’t even see Alec running towards them before they heard him almost shout.

“What do you have?”

Clary and Jace turned their heads to look at him as Izzy came behind Alec but his focus was entirely on the small and red object that Jace was holding in his hands.

_An Omamori._

The exact same one that Alec offered to the older man after their date in Tokyo as a good luck and protection charm.

Magnus told him that he always kept it with him.

Alec’s heart stopped when he saw that a small part of the Omamori was covered with blood.

* * *

 

The Nephilim came through the Institute entrance with Jace, Izzy and Clary on his toes. The door of the institute closed behind them as Clary gave Alec a sad apologetic smile before she walked away to go to her room, Jace feeling Alec’s distress and sadness through their parabatai bond squeezed his shoulder softly and mimicked Clary’s actions.

An upset Izzy didn’t realize that she was passing her bare neck with her hand squeezing an empty spot.

They tried to locate Magnus once again with the Omamori with their parabatai bond without success.

After that they called Catarina who herself tried to locate Magnus with her magic but she failed too.

It was their twenty-first attempt in five days.

For her it looked like Magnus just vanished into the thin air. She couldn’t track him and neither could Jace and Alec because something was blocking any of their tracking.

Izzy composed herself with a shake of her head and then hugged her oldest brother before she walked away too.

Soon he was all alone, he stared at the shadowhunters who were standing in front of the ops-center and were pointing to some places on the digital map on one of the touch screens of the institute to show demons’ activities.

He then looked next to him and was surprised to see that Jace, Clary and Izzy were gone, he didn’t even see them leaving.

An upset Alec soon found himself leaning against the brown doors of the institute feeling his legs going weak, although as the composed soldier and Shadowhunter he was, he tried his best to not show that he was falling apart.

A few seconds passed before he took the small red Omamori in his hands and was staring at it trying to compose himself.  

This small object was supposed to bring _luck_ and _protection to_ their owner.

_How ironic._

The hunter was slowly losing hope of ever finding Magnus.

In his distraught state, Alec didn’t realize that he and Magnus were both in the same place at the same time.

* * *

 

Indeed, in a whole different alternate universe his boyfriend stood in the middle of a very alike looking building.

Raphael joined Magnus who was standing in the middle of an empty and dusty huge place. A huge place that could contain an ops center with these touch screen. Just like in all those FBI and Sci-Fi movies that Ragnor _just loved to watch_ but for what Magnus was seeing it only looked like an empty and abandoned place.

“Great! We flew to New-York _just to see_ nothing. This was hugely helpful! Thanks for this amazing trip! Now let’s go.” Raphael stated sarcastically.

“ _Wait._ Don’t you feel that you have already been here before?” 

“ _No_. All I see is an empty abandoned church on Deighton.”

Raphael sighed after seeing his friend in a distraught state and continued this time in a softer tone “Let’s go before someone thinks that we're here to buy some meth or something.”

Not waiting for his reply, he walked away leaving the other man standing alone in the room. Magnus’ heart clenched thinking that he had a lead, that it was his only proof that he wasn’t going crazy.

When a few hours earlier he had entered a bar in New-York called _The Hunter Moon_ he had said to Raphael that this bar looked oddly familiar but his friend had only rolled his eyes and said sarcastically;

“ _Please_ you totally went to _at least_ a hundred of bars in all your life of course it will look familiar. All fucking bars probably just look the same to you now.”

“Very funny!” the older man continued with an annoyed tone “I don’t know why I agreed for you to come with me to visit the hospital.”

Magnus’ most important exam was coming up and hospitals offered job placements to eight-year residents if they passed their boards.

The _New York-Presbyterian Hospital was one of the few hospitals who offered Magnus a place if he succeeded._

Raphael only smiled and walked towards the men’s bathroom as Magnus rolled his eyes annoyed and walked towards the bar to order their drinks.

After a few minutes a tall mixed-raced woman with short curly black hair who was working here saw Magnus drawing some building on a napkin, when she asked why he was drawing this, Magnus just shrugged it off and said that he saw this place in his dreams.

Maia suddenly smiled and told him that she already saw this place before while she was walking in the city with her friends a few months ago.

She told a hopeful and stunned Magnus where the building was.

This Maia girl seemed so sure but in the end, it was a dead end. Nothing to see here.

All his hopes went away in a full rush. It was just a _beautiful_ but empty church, with no life in there.

Magnus sighed and walked away, finally leaving the church.  The church’s entrance doors closed behind him and he saw no trace of Raphael outside.

He put his hands on the closed doors taking a deep breath.

Finally, not matter how hard he tried to contain them, Magnus let the tears fall as he was sitting down on the outside stairs of the church leaning against the doorway.

Alec didn’t know any of this while he sat on the floor still leaning against the same brown doors at the exact same time than Magnus did.

He was staring blankly at the Shadowhunters in front of him.

They couldn’t see each other, they couldn’t feel each other but here they were, at the same place at the same time.

An entire different universe was separating them, an ocean of possibilities, whole other different choices who could have separated them but here they were, always finding their way back to each other.

Though in a different way than they originally thought.


End file.
